I’ve been thinking about doing everything at once


A technical hitch meant that twenty minutes of fireworks were released in 50 seconds during a display in Oban.

It made me think about the implications of applying such a method to everyday life. For example, I could get all of life’s boring stuff (like cleaning) out of the way by doing it all at once.  Apparently, the average housewife spends 46,800 hours of her life doing housework… so if I begin now I’ll be done in five and a half years (with no time to sleep or eat, mind you). HOWEVER, once it was all over, I would never need to do it ever again and I could get all my allotted chocolate as my reward (10,354 bars) then laugh non-stop for 115 days. By then, I expect I’d be rather tired so I could take my allotted 26 years of sleep (which would include 104,390 dreams). Upon waking, I would drive 452,663 miles, go to the toilet (for a while), and eat 15 pigs.


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